Et Cetera and Similar Endeavors

Going to the zoo today, the water park on Friday, Warped Tour on Monday, and The Dark Knight comes out the 18th. Not to mention last week I got to blow stuff up. July is turning out to be quite an exciting month.

I’ve been listening to a ton of new music—Search The City, Burden of a Day, and A Skylit Drive have all been playing a lot on my iTunes lately.

I am currently feeling like an overinflated balloon, flying higher and higher, and am hoping that God gives me an outlet for all the love and vision he’s shooting me up with or I will soon explode—I sometimes feel like there is too much God for me to handle, this is of course true in the sense that He is infinite and I am certainly not, but it blows my mind that it is possible to wake up every morning for the rest of my life and be even more in love with Jesus than I was the day before. It is completely impossible for this to be true if I live to be 80, there is no way a human being can contain that much love, but “with God all things are possible (Mt 19:26).”

A few things God is working me through, around, in, and so on:

• What if we believed—as in had no doubt—in Matthew 19:26, Matthew 17:20, John 14:14, and Philippians 4:13?
• The Christian church in the time of Paul and Peter and John and such apostles (that wrote parts of scripture, brought thousands of people to know Jesus Christ, did miracles, spoke with total confidence and authority, et cetera…Acts 2:38-43) was certainly a smaller number of people than today. What if the church today took Christianity as seriously as the apostles did? If less than twenty people did what scripture and history tells us, why shouldn’t we expect even more?
  
• Sometimes we pray and pray and pray for something; for God to make our hearts like his, for his will to be revealed to us, and so on. And despite constant prayer and earnest seeking of God nothing changes…this might be because God has already made our hearts like his, and we just have to do.

What does that even mean?

Everywhere you look, whether it’s television, billboards, a couple walking down the street, everyone is on a quest for love. I would venture to say that the majority of songs on the radio and talk shows and reality TV and books and magazines and every form of media, every form of communication, all offer different ways of finding “the one:” true love. Everyone wants it, few know how to get it (though many think they do), and most people are wondering “What does that even mean?” The pinnacle of this “true love” thing is generally thought of as marriage. And with friends of mine growing up and getting married, friends growing up and thinking about it, myself growing up and trying not to think about it—I have to ask: what is it that makes marriage so special? What does marriage even mean? Jesus was celibate. Paul was celibate. Those guys seemed to know what they’re doing. In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul states many of marriage’s hardships and elevates celibacy, and while he does make sure to keep them as equal gifts of God (1Co 7:7), if they are equal what motivation is there to pursue marriage? And as marriage presents much temptation for a division of devotion (7:32-35), it is difficult to argue for. Marriage must not be sought for yourself, but instead sought because it is profitable and edifying to your spouse (10:23,24)—it must be for the glory of God (10:31), which is fulfilled by salvation (Eph 1:12, 2Ti 2:10) and the continuous life of praise and love that is a result of salvation. But what is marriage, other than a fulfillment of the love we are commanded to have for all fellow believers (Mt 22:39)? And if this is all it is, why not remain celibate and free from things that may distract us from pleasing the Lord (1Co 7:32)?

The catch in that statement is that marriage is pleasing to the Lord. Proverbs 18:22 tells us that God favors men who find a wife, and that it is a good thing. And it surely must be a good thing, because scripture tells us that it is the completion of man (Ge 2:23,24), a source of happiness (Dt 24:5), the satisfaction and exhilaration of man (Pr 5:18,19), worth more than jewels (Pr 31:10), a cause for rejoicing (Is 62:5), honored by all (Heb 13:4), and the grace of life (1Pe 3:7). And because marriage is from the Lord (Pr 19:14), it is certainly good, for everything He created is good (1Ti 4:4) and was created for Him (Col 1:16). Marriage is meant to be received as a gift of God with thanksgiving (1Ti 4:3). And as Jesus explains in Mark 10:6-8, marriage is the reason for making man and woman separately—it is the God-given answer to man’s loneliness on earth (Ge 2:18). And this does not of course replace God as the sole source of satisfaction (Ps 63, Ps 107:8,9, Jer 31:13,14) and completion (Col 2:10) of our souls, but it may be the pinnacle of fellowship on earth.

The first appearance of the word fellowship as a part of a redeemed Christian’s life (Ac 2:42) is literally translated as “partnership” or “sharing;” rather than a social gathering or meeting, fellowship is more of a continual sharing of eternal life (Php 1:3-5, 1Pe 5:1, 2Pe 1:4, 1Jo 1:3). Since the point of salvation, a Christian has constant fellowship with his or her brothers and sisters in Christ, and it is a Christian’s duty to fulfill this fellowship by reminding those brothers and sisters of what they have (Pr 27:17, Ro 1:12, Php 2:1-4, 1Th 5:9-11, 2Th 2:16,17). Jesus prays for this unity of believers in John 17:20-23, and likens it to the unity of himself and God the Father. And just as fellowship is the unity of the entire body of Christ, marriage is the highest reach of unity—becoming “one flesh”; a mirror image of the Trinity being one (Dt 6:4, Mt 28:19, 1Co 8:4, 1Co 12:11, 2Co 13:14). Marriage mirrors God in another way as well—a husband’s love for his wife exemplifies the love that Christ has for the church (Eph 5:25) (which is a command of Jesus, by the way, in John 15:12).

The greatest love is that which lays its life down for another (Jn 15:13), and a common misconception with this is that laying your life down for someone else does not mean dying for them, it means giving your life to them. Christ gave his life long before he died on the cross. And that is what marriage is; laying your life down for another. Complete surrender of yourself for another. Not only is this a parallel of Christ’s life, but of salvation—complete surrender of yourself for the glory of God. And the awesome thing about this is that it parallels salvation in another way; giving your life for the glory of God results in eternal life and immeasurable fulfillment of your soul, and giving your life for your spouse results in rewards too—and it’s STILL all about Jesus: an edifying Christian marriage is such a good gift of God because it is, in essence, rewarding you with more of Him. The deepest purpose of marriage is to bring two Christians closer to God (and this is fulfilled in sexuality, spirituality, and all other facets of a married life). Man and woman love each other and dedicate their lives to each other because their spouse is a catalyst for their relationship with God.

But although marriage is a gift from God and should be focused around him, there is more to it than that, for any Christian friendship should fall into that category. God finds joy when we are joyous too, and romance is given by God to fulfill this. The entire book of Song of Solomon is an exploration and praise of this gift. Celibacy is just fine too, because marriage is something that some are called to and some are not (Mt 19:10,11, 1Co 7:7), but romance is something that God has offered to us. And, let’s face it , we were created as sexual beings. God even tells us to “go forth and multiply” in Genesis 1:27,28. There is no other way God has given us to completely fulfill our sexuality than in marriage. Of the four different types of love (being affection, friendship, eros, and charity, as defined by C.S. Lewis), marriage is the only relationship in which all four types of love are capable of being fully realized. But sexuality here does not just mean the physical act of sex either, it means connecting to each other. When two best friends pursue God, they are still two. When a married couple pursue God, they are one. Romance is something God provided us with to fulfill our sexuality, to find joy in his creation, to have a deeper taste of what his love for us is like. God wants us to experience love, in all its dimensions, all its reaches, and some of those places can’t be reached outside of marriage.

So what’s the difference between a best friend and a spouse? What is marriage? What does all this even mean?

It’s accepting a gift God has offered. It’s fulfilling our sexuality as a desire to connect. It’s learning more about the love God has for us. It’s a further preparation of our surrender to Christ. And quite frankly, it’s just fun.

For further exploration of this (and probably much more thorough and precise and sensible and legitimate, seeing as I’m just a clueless19-year-old single guy) check out C.S. Lewis’ The Four Loves and Rob Bell’s Sex God.

Author: assembly required

I would like to say that I’ve done a lot of reading over break. But that would be lying, and even though you wouldn’t ever know and it doesn’t really make any difference in your life how much I read, I would feel guilty about it. Maybe not right away, but it would happen eventually.

I have done a lot of reading over the last few days. (Which is entirely true.) And what happens a lot of times when I read things—good things, at least—is I get this urge to write like the people I’ve been reading do. I get done reading C.S. Lewis and I want to present deep concepts with brilliant illustrations. I get done reading Donald Miller and I want to be relative and unsettling and creative while being casual about it the whole time. I read Aaron Weiss’s lyrics (from the band mewithoutYou) and want to be poetic and original and most of all, so incredibly honest. So I get out my journal or I web-surf my way over to WordPress and start my writing. After a very short span of time, I realize what we all already know: I am not C.S. Lewis, or Donald Miller, or Aaron Weiss, or Rob Bell, or Erwin McManus, or Antoine de Saint-Exupery, or any other author I love to read. I cannot write like them because I am not them, and it is silly and kind of embarrassing that I would think anything otherwise. (But do try and read at least some of those authors…they’re all fantastic.)

And so now that I’m thinking straight and not having a minor (but threatening nonetheless) identity crisis, I wonder how many times in our lives we try to be someone we’re not. And this is a really cliche thing to mention, but it’s still something that each and every one of us struggles with, isn’t it? It really is a rare thing to be satisfied with yourself. It’s said that you are your biggest critic. Maybe that’s why we try to find escape in becoming other people—because we’re too critical of ourselves. And maybe that’s bad, it’s totally possible to be over-critical and expect too much from yourself. It’s not healthy to expect more of yourself than you can give, and I think this is one of the biggest parts of “knowing yourself:” it’s knowing your limits, and accepting them, and always pushing yourself but never beating yourself down for not doing more than you can.

But it also can be good. Because I know better sometimes. I try to escape my identity because I don’t want to face the truth, staring straight at me like a laser beam, and I think that somehow if I don’t look at it I won’t get hit and burned by the laser. It’s the same philosophy we have as little kids: “If I can’t see you, you can’t see me!” I try to write like other writers so I don’t have to face the fact that I can’t write like them. We try to hide in other people so we don’t have to face the fact that we have a lot of flaws that are a lot worse than not being able to write like your favorite authors.

And you know this is a really farfetched idea. Because maybe you’re good at acting, and maybe you know who or what you’re trying to be well enough to convince everyone. You might actually be able to pull this imposter thing off. But you know. Somewhere in the depths of this ambiguous, murky identity, clouded with pride and poisoned with denial, I know that I am me, and not anyone else. And if I cover my eyes and play a three-year-old’s game of hide-and-seek with myself, God still knows. And I can’t escape that.

You can’t hide from God. You can’t even run from God. At some point, we have to face who we are, and accept that there are things we can’t do. There are things we will never be able to do. There are things about us, dark secrets and heavy flaws, that we all have. Adam and Eve were not thinking straight when they tried to hide from God, that’s obvious to us. But don’t we do the same thing?

And this leads me to something I mentioned at the very beginning. I doubt you even gave it second thought, but here I am, being a thorough writer, and tying the end together with the beginning. We may not have to deal with being ourself and no one else for awhile. But it will happen eventually, just like I would eventually feel guilty about lying concerning my reading habits of late.  Someday we will realize that we are who God made us to be and no one else, and there’s no getting around that.  And this inescapable truth can be unsettling at times, and very comforting at others.  But there is something else that happens eventually once we start being honest with ourselves.  We make progress.  By the weird grace of God (that I still don’t understand but accept anyway, because I’ve found that I can’t live without it) we start seeing ourselves the way he sees us.  It’s not something that happens overnight, mind you.  It’ something that happens over a long (usually longer than we’d like, but I suppose God’s timing is better than our own) period of time.

So what’s the real message behind all this?  I don’t know.  I’m just trying to write like myself, I guess.

My Raft in a Sea of Thought

 

 

Here’s some good movies I’ve seen lately:
The Number 23 – A bit of a head trip, but very interesting and awesome plot twists. Jim Carey does a really good job. I thoroughly enjoyed it, but the last five seconds or so threw it up about ten points (I’m still trying to figure out the point-scale that I guess I’m using, but 10 points is a lot, trust me).
Snatch – I’ve seen this before (I own it, actually) but I just watched it awhile ago with some friends, and I’d forgotten how cool it is. Brad Pitt is ridiculously amazing. Very cool plot; sometimes hard to grasp what’s going on, but by the end of the movie it’s extremely satisfying.

I’m also reading Searching for God Knows What by Donald Miller, and while I’m not too deep into it yet, it’s still really good. A very good follow-up to Blue Like Jazz—his writing style remains very humorous while somehow still being very serious about the things he writes about. I like Donald Miller because the things he says are often things that I know already somewhere in my subconscious, but the way he presents these ideas makes them so new and prevalent to me.

Musically I’ve been enamored with Perpetual Groove (jam band), thanks to my roommate. After going to just one show, I totally fell in love with them, and playing with Tom and Robert for the Ridge Fallfest has only amplified that. Today I’ve been listening to Waking Ashland (piano-oriented rock), whom I haven’t listened to in awhile…their album Composure hits the nail of a mood I’m in today on the head. Definitely check them out if you don’t know of them; the vocalist/pianist has an amazing voice and some really good piano lines. And as usual, Chris Botti (contemporary/pop jazz) has been really good to listen to too.

Favorite…

…Movie: To End All Wars.

“A Japanese P.O.W. camp during World War II becomes the battleground for the sou…(read more…)ls as well as the lives of its Scottish and British prisoners. Based on a true story, To End All Wars centers around Ernest Gordon (Ciaran McMenamin), a young soldier who wants to teach philosophy. When Gordon recovers from seeming death by illness, the other prisoners agree to become Gordon’s pupils, studying Plato, Shakespeare, and the Bible. Gordon’s superior officer, Ian Campbell (Robert Carlyle) scoffs at the increasingly pacificist bent of Gordon’s teachings. Jim Reardon (Kiefer Sutherland), a lone American running a black market, is equally skeptical. But under the relentless brutality of the camp, the only way for the soldiers to survive is to find what gives their lives meaning. The strong performances of To End All Wars makes this moral conflict as vivid as any gun battle.”
This is one of the most powerful movies I’ve ever seen.  First of all, the acting is great, the music is killer, and the cinematography is good too.  But the moral and spiritual value of this film is so intense.  The things that these soldiers have to face in the camp are horrific; the violent discipline, the extremely low Japanese value of human life, the ridiculous working conditions and rations, and most importantly, each other and their own constitution and faith. This movie is about justice and forgiveness, and “at what cost, mercy?”  Very strong ideas brought in from The Bible and Plato’s Republic…watch it ASAP.

…book: The Little Prince, by Antoine de Saint-Exupery

“Antoine de Saint-Exupéry first published The Little Prince in 1943, only a year before his Lockheed P-38 vanished over the Mediterranean during a reconnaissance mission. More than a half century later, this fable of love and loneliness has lost none of its power. The narrator is a downed pilot in the Sahara Desert, frantically trying to repair his wrecked plane. His efforts are interrupted one day by the apparition of a little, well, prince, who asks him to draw a sheep. ‘In the face of an overpowering mystery, you don’t dare disobey,’ the narrator recalls. ‘Absurd as it seemed, a thousand miles from all inhabited regions and in danger of death, I took a scrap of paper and a pen out of my pocket.’ And so begins their dialogue, which stretches the narrator’s imagination in all sorts of surprising, childlike directions. “
This book appears to be a children’s book—only 93 pages and lots of illustrations—but there is more meaning in this book than the majority of all the books I’ve ever read.  It really makes you think about how you judge people and what is really important to you, versus what should be important to you.  Despite its length, it’s very moving and very powerful.  You can read it as a children’s book and get a fun story, or you can read into it further and discover a universe of morals.