Perhaps Christians should be less concerned with living out their faith, and instead be more intent on living in their faith. To live in faith—from within my faith—so that as I go I make disciples; not by worrying myself with how much I do, or how many things I am doing “right” versus how many things I am doing “wrong,” or how many results I see, but rather by being intimately connected to and in love with an impossible God.
Our commands from Jesus are to love the Lord with all our heart, mind, soul, and strength, and to love our neighbor as ourselves. Too often I attempt to love God by loving my neighbor, while Jesus explicitly states them as two separate things. I can never try to find God first in people. I can never be satisfied with God only when I am attempting to love my neighbor. I cannot let myself mistake the feeling of loving someone else or seeing just one facet of God’s work for God’s true fullness and being. I must first be satisfied with God alone, in silence and solitude, before I attempt to love my neighbor, for if I try to love my neighbor first not only will I fail but I will become addicted to God’s work rather than God Himself.
When I am fully satisfied with my Father—with only His being, and my being near His—then I will inevitably love my neighbor as well. A love for God creates a love for others. And when I love others, I will fall more in love with Jesus. It is a never-ending cycle that feeds itself. But I won’t ever be able to love my neighbor more by attempting to create love for them myself. I can never cultivate love by action. Unless I love with the Holy Spirit’s love that Paul talks about in 1 Corinthians 13, I will certainly fail. I will never learn to love others more unless I first find the Holy Spirit within myself, and am satisfied with God’s presence alone. I must live in my faith if I want to see my faith grow out.
-amen-