I like it, but I don’t…?
23 07 2008We moved from our small, two bed, 1.5 bath, restricted kitchen, and decent living room apartment into a bigger, three bed, two bath, enormous kitchen, and roomy living room house these last few days. It’s been a bit of work, of which has probably been unbalanced—I’m lazier than I like to admit, and am unfortunately good at coming up with semi-legitimate things to do instead of cleaning and packing—but we’re about 98% done. Just random small bits and pieces of things left to throw in a box and move to the house, and then the cleaning of the empty apartment. And I’m not at all excited about that.
It was extremely exciting to move the couches and beds and tables, and to figure out where we wanted all the stuff to go, and to hang up posters and paintings and so on. When it’s big, noticeable stuff, it’s enjoyable, even if it requires heavy lifting. But when you get to the little trinkets and stuff you don’t really want but don’t really want to throw away, it’s not at all fun, because it seems like a waste of time and it’s completely under the radar. And don’t even get me started on cleaning the place that we’re about to leave forever.
And my spiritual life is like this too. I love it when God makes big changes in my life. I love getting completely messed up and transformed, even if it’s tough for me to do, because it’s noticeable, it’s something completely new, and it’s exciting. But when God asks me to do the small stuff—cleaning up little, under-the-radar convictions, picking up after myself, making sure that I leave a good impression when I leave some place or something behind—I get frustrated and I don’t want to do it. It’s not fun anymore. And I have no idea what convinced me that my spiritual life is about me having fun, and not about me laying my life down—even the tiny annoying parts—and submitting to the will of Jesus, lover of my soul.
(And so it turns out that the little things are a big thing too.)
Moving isn’t always an enjoyable process, whether it’s from apartment to house, or from old sinful self to new regenerate self. But if we ignore the small stuff, the move is never completed. We never can settle into the new, because there’s still small parts of us in the old. And while I don’t like cleaning up and taking care of the seemingly insignificant things, I do— because beneath my surface frustration, my heart loves completion.
- What little things are keeping you from completing the big changes in your life?
- Are you seeking partial transformation in order to fulfill your own desires, or are you seeking complete transformation to God’s will for you—even if it’s hard?
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Tags : God, spirituality, Christianity, Jesus, faith, moving, cleaning
Categories : reflection, revelation
